This was definitely
a time to pray for wisdom! So that's exactly what we did. In all our
prayer times together as a couple, as a family, we prayed that God
would make it clear what we should do. We consulted our parents, DH's
respected superiors, and we asked our extended family and friends to
pray, as well. It seemed like this was one of those decisions where
neither one was particularly right or wrong, at least in God's eyes.
Leavenworth was a nice compliment to DH – showing him that he is
well-respected (not everyone gets to go, especially as a Functional
Area). So we began to wonder if turning it down would be really bad
for his career. As Christians in the military, it can be difficult to
weigh if God wants the service member to pursue his career to such
excellence so as to be put in a high position to influence others for
Christ, or whether to show with one's decisions (the few we get in
the military), that he prioritizes family over career.
In talking with some of DH's fellow functional area superiors, he found that going to resident ILE was not a make or break issue as far as his career was concerned. If he wanted to be a General, then yes, he should pursue it. If not, then satellite ILE would be sufficient.
In my heart, I was nervous that we might have to move to Leavenworth. Ft. Gordon was safe to me. We'd been there before, we still knew people there, we'd be within driving distance of my parents. It seemed like a no-brainer to me! But then again, I will always choose what is comfortable and safe.
Yet, even for me,
as I started to think about it and pray about it, I realized this
could be an adventure and exactly what God wanted us to do! It could
be fun to go to KS, to be with some of DH's classmates from college
and their wives who I hadn't seen in 9 years. I wanted to communicate
to DH that we could do this! I did not want to be the one influencing
his decision and putting pressure on him to take Ft. Gordon because
it would make me happy. I've watched far too many Army wives make
that move and later regret it. I did not want to make the same
mistake, and I knew I was in danger of making it.
I'm not sure if I
handled it correctly, but I told him that if he wanted to go to
resident ILE, we could do it! I would be in full support, and we'd
make an adventure out of driving cross-country again with our now 3
year old. It would be fun to be in a school environment, especially
with so many friends we had known years before. Reconnecting with old
Army buddies is one of the best parts about moving around! Plus, it
would be a longer school term as opposed to just the few short months
of satellite ILE, which means more family time. There were a lot of
positives to this decision...which again made it so difficult.
I think DH appreciated my support, though he could probably tell what my real heart's desire was (um, guess I still need to work on that!). I'm not sure hearing my verbal support helped him by making the decision any easier. We were both seeing the good and the bad of this and almost wanted someone – anyone – to tell us what to do! Decisions that are not cut and dry are so much harder to make!
As Christians, we
are taught to read the Bible, pray, and seek godly counsel when faced
with a decision. Some are easier to make than others. And this one
did not fall into that category. Again, we were thinking, why can't
the Army just tell us what to do, like they do with almost every
other part of our lives. Nevertheless, we read the Bible, we prayed,
and we sought godly counsel. Ultimately, the decision was in DH's
hands, and I began to fervently pray for him. This was a big weight
on his shoulders, and I felt helpless. Aren't wives supposed to help
and support their husbands?! I felt very inadequate. I do not know
what I would do if I couldn't pray. That was the only way I knew how
to help. That and to keep my opinions to myself and just give DH
space and time to think.
When it was crunch
time and a decision had to be made, DH chose to decline resident ILE
and accept satellite. We were both relieved. I think. Maybe I was
more relieved than he was. Either way, God had given us peace. We at
least knew where we were going, and I breathed a big sigh of relief
that it wouldn't be a hard move...or so I thought. Funny how we think
one thing and then something completely different happens!