My pastor recently encouraged us as a congregation just to simply start a conversation. I am terrible at this! Everything I think to say to someone sounds absolutely ridiculous in my head so I know it will sound downright foolish if it leaves my mouth! I clam up and run back to the comfort and safety of my house. This leads to a simple going and coming ritual I participate in throughout my day-to-day life.
I like to blame my daughter for this. Since she is still young (preschoolish), when I am out somewhere with her, I literally only see her. I suppose it's some sort of mother bear protection mode or whatever you want to call it. The fact is, however, I honestly do not see people around me anymore. If I were a witness to a crime, and the police stopped to question me, I would be as helpful as a blind person. Seriously. So if I do not even see people, how can I even begin to talk to them? I suppose this is the first step. I need to pray God would give me eyes to see. Then I can pray He will give me words to speak.
I do not know why I am so fearful of talking to others, especially non-believers. I don't even want to tell them about Jesus with the first words I speak. I much prefer to build a relationship first. Yet I am struggling just to do that!
The fact of the matter is though that God has called us to a life of service and sacrifice. Sacrifice to an introvert like me might mean starting a conversation with someone instead of holing up inside my house. Serving others might mean giving of my peaceful, quiet solitude to be among people, listening to them and helping them with their day-to-day lives. Am I not even willing to do that? Have I made comfort so much of an idol in my life that I will not even adjust my schedule or stop what I'm doing to look someone in the eye while in the checkout line? Yes, the truth is, I have.
This is a battle I constantly have to fight. I fought it last summer, and managed to make some gains. However, when we moved this past winter, I am finding that this is still a problem for me. I must get outside of my comfort zone and expand the walls of my world. If there are any other introverts out there, how do you do it? How do you follow the command to go and make disciples? Especially, when you're moving around and constantly starting over - when it can be a struggle just to make friends you are comfortable with, let alone stretching yourself to minister to others. Help, please!
1 comment:
It helps me to ask Jesus to give me a love for others and to see others the way He loves and sees them. That helps me to not feel so intimidated in talking with them, whether I bring up the gospel or not. On top of that, I try to find ways to physically serve others...giving a hand to an elderly person in the grocery store, etc. It is generally easier for me to talk to someone while I am doing something. One final thought...It is a season you are in right now with a little one, and it IS important that you are keeping your eyes on her for her safety. So, you may not be able to walk away from a grocery cart with your child sitting in it. But, it is a good thing to stay aware of your surroundings, and not stay in your own little world with your child when you are in public, for safety reasons as well. As you become aware of the situations and people around you, God might open your eyes to someone who could use an encouraging word. As your child grows older, they will pick up on your actions and begin to find little ways to bless others too!
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