I had the recent privilege of reading a unique resource for military families entitled Called to Serve. Below is the review and interview I did with one of the authors. If you would like to enter to win a free copy of the book, see the end of this post!
Air Force Lt. Col. Tony Monetti and his wife, Penny, are a
seasoned military family who have written this inspirational book – Called to Serve - to encourage military
families to stay the course in the rapid deployment cycle so many are facing. Offering wisdom, humor, and advice, the
Monettis explain how they have handled various situations from moving multiple times to living
overseas to deployment to raising children in an unstable environment. What is unique about this book as opposed to
many others written for military families is that the Monettis each write from
their own perspective, often alternating chapters. This makes it great for the military couple
to read together. So much is being
written for military wives, but this is an excellent resource for husbands, as
well. In addition, when wives read Lt.
Col. Monetti’s perspective, it can provide insight into their own husband’s
thoughts and desires. Thus, I highly
recommend this book to any military family seeking help from someone who’s
already walked down the arduous road of a life of service to our country.
Below is an interview that Penny Monetti graciously agreed to do exclusively for this blog. Continue reading to find her answers to some pertinent questions:
Melissa:
How did you get started writing?
Penny: My daughter faced a life-threatening illness when she was an
infant. I knew God had blessed us by her miracle of life, and I wanted to share
with other mothers how fleeting and precious life is. Through my daughter’s
experience, I learned to “Dance,” or embrace our golden moments together before
they slipped away. I knew in an eye’s blink she would grow up and be packing
her suit cases for college. This is why I wrote, “Choose to Dance: A
Mother/Daughter Guide to Tackling Life’s Tough Issues.”
Melissa: What was your favorite “season” of military
life?
Penny: Every season contains beautiful memories that I
pray the cobwebs of age will never erase. Every PCS brought us closer together
as a family as we leaned on each other for comfort, friendship, strength, and
security; however, my favorite times were homeschooling my children while
living in Europe. When we studied the
Renaissance Era, my children visited Michelangelo’s renown Duomo in Florence and
Rome’s Sistine Chapel. They learned about the Roman emperors and stood on the
step where Caesar was assassinated. When we studied World War II, my children
experienced firsthand the cramped barracks of Dachau, Germany as they sandwiched
their small bodies into the very same bunk that six adult Jewish prisoners once
shared. Their skin felt the cold harsh November wind and rain while bundled up
in heavy coats with protective umbrellas in the courtyard where the Jews were
corralled together with no coats or hats to ward off the elements. We stayed in a quaint chateau in Normandy,
France where the elderly owner showed us the hash marks he carved into the barn
door as a young boy to count the days that he was forced to live there while
his mother lived inside their home with the Nazis. No school text books could teach the life
lessons we experienced together as a family.
Melissa: What encouragement can you offer a wife who is
on her 2nd, 3rd, 4th, deployment?
Penny: Divorce has become the newest casualty of war.
In order to help avoid this trauma, I encourage home front spouses to acquire
PMS, but, this is the type of PMS that they will want to have: Physical,
Mental, and Spiritual balance. PMS keeps
home front spouses strong so they can take care of everyone else. Just as the
flight attendant on a plane instructs the passengers to administer oxygen first
to themselves before their small children in the case of a pressure drop, home front spouses need to maintain balance so that
they can be the rock of the family while the warrior is gone.
Physical - Eat and rest. So cliché, right? How many spouses binge when they are nervous
or skip meals all together? When their honeys come home, many spouses go on
crash diets. Now’s the time to enroll in a fitness program with the fitness
center or a local gym. Brisk walks clear the mind and burn stress. Sleep
disorders? I took medication for three years because of stress induced
insomnia. I decided to get a book and learn to balance my hormones through diet
and exercising regularly. I eliminated caffeine, fast food, and preservatives.
I have been medication free for over a year now. It’s a fact that when your
body is tired, your metabolism doesn’t function as well, which means that you
don’t burn calories. Rest affects your
weight as well as your moods.
Mental - Get rid of the negativity in your life! Limit the news and
avoid rumors and gossipy people. Surround yourself with friends that ENCOURAGE
and do the SAME in return! I absolutely love Mark Twain’s quote, “Keep away
from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.” Now, we can
still be a role model and love the negative Nancys’, but be careful not to let
them sap your energy from you. Phillipians 4:8 says: Finally,
brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Spiritual
- Know that you are not alone. Joshua 1:9 states, “Do
not be afraid or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
There were trying times in my life when I felt my dog heard my prayers better
than God only to realize that if God had answered my prayer at that time, the
tremendous spiritual growth would have never occurred. I learned to memorize
scripture so I could pull it out when times got tough. Surrendering my cares
each day before the feet of God rejuvenated me daily and instilled a peace that
only God can give.
Melissa: In your book, Called to Serve, you talk about
“the military spouse’s troublesome trio: fear, uncertainty, and worry. “ How can women stop these three emotions from
taking over their lives?
Penny: By surrendering our concerns
daily to the Lord, God will smoke the trio out of their foxholes and defeat
them. God cares about the trivial pebbles as well as the huge boulders that
block our paths to a relationship with Him.
Melissa: Tell me more about the title – Called to Serve.
How did you know the Lord called both you and your husband to military service
even though he was the one wearing the uniform?
Penny: I fell
in love with a military man, and when I walked up to the altar, I knew my vows
were not only to my husband and God but to the military life, as well. I have always gotten teary-eyed whenever a
military plane flies overhead or I hear a patriotic song. I’m a real sap! God
is calling me in a different capacity to serve the military now that my
children are nearly grown through our Called to Serve Ministry
(calledtoserveministry.com). I am blessed to give motivational presentations to
military spouses at bases nationwide regarding transitions, marriage, PTSD, and
triumph over tragedy. Because I’ve “been there and done that” myself for the
past 24 years, spouses can really relate.
Melissa: Some military
wives tend to distance themselves from the military community. Do you think that’s wise? Why or why not?
Penny: Being
involved with friends, church family, and maintaining a strong connection with
God wards off destructive behaviors and fosters a positive environment where a
spouse can communicate with other spouses and caring friends. 1 Peter 5:8 says,
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a
roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” Just as a lion watches for a weak
gazelle to stray from the herd, there is an enemy that lurks, waiting for us to
become weak and isolate ourselves from our friends and God. There is strength
when we are united with friends, church family, and ultimately, God. This is
where we can find strength when challenges arise. When we are alone,
destructive behaviors set in, such as depression, alcohol, self-medication,
etc. It is crucial to stay connected.
Melissa: What wisdom and advice can you offer to the mom
who is worried about moving her children every two to three years, putting them
in multiple schools, and exposing them to worries and fears about a daddy at
war?
Penny: Immediately after receiving orders, I would
pray Deuteronomy 31:8: The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will
never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” This
verse always comforted me, knowing that God was already at the next base
finding our future friends, schools, etc. For the military child, who commonly
attends numerous schools, smooth moving transitions depend on the child’s self
esteem and the parent’s attitude. My oldest son attended three different high
schools and three middle schools. Although extremely difficult at times, moving
became a positive experience and he became more outgoing, confident, and a
self-assured traveler as a result. My younger son, who wasn’t a big fan of
change, required more effort to get him involved with other kids, but once the
ice was broken, he blossomed. Your child’s self esteem first starts at home.
You are their biggest cheerleader, and leading by example is the best model for
transitioning into new situations.
Listening to a child’s fears and worries and not trying to solve
problems helps them process their own insecurities. The “deal with it” parental
attitude only causes stress and fear in a child. Being available for a child to
“unload” is crucial. In our upcoming book, “Called to Serve II: Transitions,”
we go into great detail about making smooth family transitions, including hints to
help children relocate to new schools, make new friends, and how parents can
help make this challenging process easier.
Melissa: How did you and your husband approach church
hunting when moving to a new area? Did
you ever settle for a lesser quality church home when you knew you would only
be there for a year or two? Or did you
invest the time searching for the right one despite the fact that your time to
serve there would be limited?
Penny: I always took great comfort in the verse from
Deuteronomy 31:8 Tony would first ask those in his new
squadron where they went to Church. He would immediately find out who was
excited about their faith. We would visit a church each Sunday until we found
one that fit our needs. Many times, when
our children were small, Tony and I would take turns each Sunday and scope out
the church service, kid’s Sunday school, Bible studies, etc. alone while the
other stayed at home with the kids rather than drag our children into a new
environment each week. (This did not apply when they became teens.) One big
church determining factor for me was how friendly the congregation was after
the service. I could always feel love and warmth in a congregation that was
truly Christ centered. When we thought a church might be a good fit, we then
would see how the kids responded to the Sunday school, youth groups, etc. and
give it a trial period. If we felt it was enriching to our children and we
could spiritually grow as a family, we knew we had found our church. One mistake
I wish I could rewind time and change is when we lived in Italy. There were no
English speaking churches, and the military base was an hour and a half away.
Rather than take our kids where they wouldn’t completely understand the
language, (and I envisioned them being bored stiff) we held home church and
made the drive to the base chapel periodically. This was a wonderful bonding
time, and a chance for us to grow spiritually as a family, but I believe my
children could have additionally grown spiritually in the Italian culture. In
the long run, each family must make the decision as to what works best for them
and pray, pray, pray.
Thank you, Penny!
Giveaway:
The Monettis’ have graciously donated a copy of
their book, Called to Serve, for me
to giveaway. If you would like to enter
to win this wonderful autographed resource, please leave a comment below telling why this
is of interest to you. Also be sure to
include your email address within your comment so I can contact you if you win.
